Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
This toilet bowl is my home.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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