fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
