I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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