Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Randomize
