I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Randomize