I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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