yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
