How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
it was like eating out sand paper
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
