I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
