and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NoShamevember. You game?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize