I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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