Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
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I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
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I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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