Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
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