when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I just gargled with NyQuil
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
