super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
