this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
should my penis look like a turkey
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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