Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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