I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
