Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
