I'm going to rape someone's good day.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize