Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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