Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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