YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
