Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
