I just cut my nipple shaving
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
