yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
