I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
