he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
