Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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