your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
