is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
