i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
