Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
