It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
