So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
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