why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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