The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
