Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
