Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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