I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
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You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
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I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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