i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
