I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
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