I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
