The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
