ugly people sure do ruin things
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
