that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I need a burrito and a hug.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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