I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
