I'm so fucking centered right now
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I love you. Go after that dick
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
