I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
