Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
