Me. At least after what I've been through.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
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