SEEEEXXX PLEASE
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
