so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
