So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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