had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
