Me too!
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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