it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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