with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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