yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize